What am I proud of?

Made design of my own book!

I lost my favourite book – Wishcraft – in russian, so I decided to buy it in English. I got a copy published in 1979, which I’m most excited to have. The only problem I saw, that I didn’t like the cover design. So I decided to go ahead and make my own.

Finished Nazare beach painting

Oh I was doing it for so long… I think I wanted it to be perfect. Now I finally finished it I’m letting it go. Soon I’ll do the postcards! 🙂

7 days of yoga with Adriene

Not 30 like usual in January, only 7. But I still have completed it with my beloved Simão.

Unfreezed my ava-coding website

I started to make new contributions to ava-coding.com I wrote the whole article about time and space complexity. I made pictures for it, I used ChatGPT to make it more readable and friendly.

I used to be so much ashamed of this project. At some point, I had a functioning LinkedIn group, I made a new video and article every week, I made promises. I was not able to keep them and I did burn out.

For long I though that I need to go all in or I needed to quit. I felt so tired, so I had to quit. I didn’t want to make promises any more that I couldn’t keep.

It took me some time to realize that it’s silly to be ashamed more of a thing I did do, that of the thing that I’ve never done. I’ve wrote 2 pages of the book. Well, 2 pages is whole 2 pages better, than 0 pages! I have 2 whole pages to be proud of!

I want to celebrate my meaningful progress and don’t guilt overshadow the good that I’m done. Perfection is not the only measure of the success. I’ve created impact beyond myself. People were interested in my work. I should have been proud of it.

Owwwhhh, I was so longing to do that! I’m into making my own clothes and I’m into the design – I thought I can make something in-between. I did a seamless pattern of my magnolia’s painting and printed on my T-shirt!

If you like my painting, you can get the magnolia postcard at my etsy shop.

I’ve also printed a turtle shirt design – with a colorful turtle on the front and inspiring words “What do you do with your one precious life?” at the back. Now I can wear it, stand in the queue, and cause existential crisis for the person who goes after me.

Got my first external customer

So someone from the internet found my postcards on avakatushka.etsy.com and designed to purchase ❤️

I was very happy and grateful ☺️

Donation project

I wanted to donate the money I have for a long time. I have 2 goals:

• Give back and contribute to the world around me in a meaningful way
• Make myself feel good

I was delaying this goal for a long time, and finally I’ve decided to start. To not to scare myself too much, I’ve started with 100 pounds a month.

I’ve spread it though the weeks – I knew from the research if I would do more actions of “giving” more times it would cheer me up. I’m as a human react to the each individual giving, not the total given sum. I set myself a reminder to give away 25 pounds every Wednesday. So far I’ve supported:

1. December: Corals gardeners, helping restore coral reefs: adopted 3 corals + donated 25 pounds = 100 pounds 
2. Jan: Friends of Horsey Seals 20 pounds in person after a trip to see amazing seals + big issue
3. Jan: Green Peace for their fight for greener world – 25 pounds
4. Jan: Street Child to help girls get education 25 pound + Bloomberg match
5. Jan: Cats UK support  25 pound + Bloomberg match
6. Jan: Canals and Rivers Trust to keep beautiful canals around Britain  25 pound + Bloomberg match

It made me feel pretty good about myself and gave me a kick of endorphins every Wednesday. According to “Antifragile” book by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
doing something good is an antifragile investment – it would not disappear with time, provide help right now and give you better future.

Notable mentions

• Went for trousers-off London subway ride
• Made my 2024 year summary
• Reconnected with my school friend Natasha (long time no see!)
• Was growing my own flowers in the building hall
• Did my own “supportive mother” mask in the art therapy. Now I can refer to it in the times of need, when I need an empathetic look at myself.
• Started painting of Porto building, which goes really well
• Learned to paint systematically through a course
• Tax return follow-up
• Doing exercises of “Hold me closer” together with my boyfriend

What am I grateful for?

• My sister visiting London
• Going to karaoke and singing with Abi and Christos
• Going on road trip together with Liliya and Cheng Cheng to see Horsey gap seals
• Went to Van Gogh exhibition in London with Liliya
• Art therapy sessions in Russian with Anya. “If you can imagine it , you can accomplish it”
• Sakshi amazing house-warming party for colleagues and friends
• Being obsessed with ex-Mormon YouTube videos: provides me with alternative view of life and something fun to learn
• More healthy food habits helps to mindful eating course. Finally I don’t try to restrict my body anymore, but become a listener and a friend.

What was challenging?

Being sick for the whole week

I got some kind of flue, and got sick. I feel like it’s always the challenge when you are working: you need to request a sick day and evaluate your state every day to see if you are already “healthy enough” to come back. I though I was healthy enough, came back, and than disease hit me again with an ear pain! That was frightening and unexpected. I was so stressed, I went to a payed doctor for the prescription. Luckily it had all passed.

Fighting with boyfriend

Sometimes now we hit challenges in the relationship and somehow slip in to a fight. It’s extremely stressful and time-consuming. Afterwards we try to make up and learn from mistakes, but the fear of the fight is still there. And sometimes it happens again.

Reorg at work

It so happens that people in my managment suddenly moved. I was already under some change before – my team leader started the maternity leave. It feels a bit stressful and uncertain – new leadership is also in New York and not London. I hope it would be for the best, but you never know. Somehow it feels that I have so much more responsibilities now and not a lot of faith in my surroundings.