Im finishing May lying down with a UTI. Which is not nice nor enjoyable thing to have.

But my May was step up from April. I felt better. I’ve almost felt normal.

Where I am now?

I went to art therapy where I needed to paint where I am and where I’m going.

I painted myself now. I was crunched down on a bus stop with the waiting time of 5-10 years. I was frozen. I was depressed.

I’ve painted my ideal state too. I was a mermaid 🧜‍♀️ handling the torch and beating my tail of the water. I was free, I was traveling, I was protesting and making decision.

When the organizers prompted me to draw the state in between the current one and the future. I came up with a woman standing up and walking in the water. That’s where I aim to be now – not standing but awkwardly walking.

Witch

When I was small I wanted to be a witch. For some reason I like crystals and I decided: why not? Even if they are not healing me, I could still very much enjoy them. And a witch would have crystals, wouldn’t she?

Uncertain future

A lot of scary news where released, like that to get Indefinite Leave to Remain in Britain I would need to stay here for 10 years, instead of 5 like it was before. I was so crashed and angry. I’ve signed petitions against. In the end of the day, I’ve decided to go for Global Talent Visa.

Alpaca farm

My boyfriend gave me a visit to alpaca farm with Abi and Christos 😍

Sketching outside

Soup kitchen

I went to a Bloomberg Volunteering event to feed homeless people. First under the attention of quite an aggrevated lady I cut and packed sandwiches 🥪, when I stand by the pastry and gave it to the visitors. Sometimes they were quite rude, grabbing buns without asking, throwing it back and demanding a return. My colleagues though were perfectly friendly and maintained good spirits.

Later we cleaned whole industrial kitchen on our own from cooking the hot meals. That was quite an experience. Although the work seemed tough, doing it together in on kitchen as a team was not so dull at all. It seemed only to be a tragedy if one person had to do it all.

Learning to crochet

After buying some wool in alpaca farm I decided to try some crochet. Last time I’ve crocheted was in middle school, and apparently I didn’t learn much.

This time with help of some YouTube videos I’ve managed to do something 2D 😌

Conclusion

At the end of the day, even if I couldn’t be as brave and glorious as I want to be, it’s better not to sit around and wait. Better just stand up and go. Without much confidence, as good as you can, but it’s better than standing on one place stuck. That’s my “intermediate” state.