I noticed one tendency in myself. I’m getting out of breath trying to prove that I’m not lazy and I worthy of something… I keep my days so busy, super tight. I achieve, achieve, achieve. Feels like it’s so hard to stop and just be.

I asked chatgpt to help me to treat me these beliefs.

To start with, it’s okay to be lazy, one. There’s nothing wrong with that. And my worth is not connected to what I do. I’m just worthy as I am, a person.

I wanted a phrase to help me summarize it and repeat it back to myself. Because ” I’m getting out of breath trying to prove that I’m not lazy and I worthy of something” is almost always on in my head.

The antidote is the catch phrase from “Gifts of imperfection” of Brene Brown:

Making new friends

Meet Katya she is a Research Psychologist, she loves “Bird and Blend” tea as I do. She invited to walk together in the cemetery where our underground lines cross.

Enjoy autumn colors

Turbulent times at work

It is not easy at work… I’ve tried to influence things, but got to the wall. It drains a lot of my energy. I try to adapt being smarter, understand how to play this game… but at the end of the day, that’s just exhausting.

Trying to concentrate on delivering the product.

On an unrelated note: finally read the “Prince” of Machiavelli.

Toastmasters

Toastmasters Training 8 am. Some useful ideas:

Leadership pipeline:

• Position

• Empower

• Let them have mistakes

Great ideas:

• “Froggy award” for furthest leap forward

• Consistent communication

• Make your presence visible

And remember:

Grow leaders, not followers

West toastmasters

“I traded my voice for the peace”

Presenting at toastmasters about women in it

Used really cool body language, got a lot of resonance!

Not going to the conference, not getting visa…

Calling to visa center. Long wait, long delay, no answers

I want to whine

I’m getting out of breath trying to prove that I’m not lazy and I worthy of something.

My ideas:

There are moments when I’m full of energy to make my ideas come true. Maybe I should follow the cycle of create, rest, share, rest?

I need

• Support

• Validation

I’m enough and worthy of love and belonging

I’m an Octopus Child

Intense Learning of Portuguese

All weekend studying… It was so exhausting. At the same time, I do feel the progress going.

Beautiful leaves in resin: enjoy autumn

Making spells for myself

Embroidery on my running shirt

Having friends over

Had some friend over for the board games – felt almost like the New Year!

Notable mentions:

• Watch wicked for the good
• On track to loose weight
• Simão leaves sweet notes on banana
• Walk to my work by feet to get a little sun we have
• Banya and grief of grandpa’s death
• Miranda become web champ!
• Get Simao honkers shirt
• 2 hours 43 mins running 7 runs
• Decided not to do advent of code- something minus, something plus